TV Time Capsule

Happy New Year, ‘Laverne & Shirley’

“New Years Week” continues.

On December 27, 1977, ABC aired “New Year’s Eve 1960,” the “Laverne & Shirley” episode that showed how the girls spent the last night of the 1950s.

 

Ah, the “Laverne & Shirley” credits: Sadly, another example of a sitcom that doesn’t quite live up to its terrific theme song. And we’ll do it our way/Yes our way/Make all our dreaaams come truuue/For me and yooou.

The girls are counting the money they’ve collected for the New Year’s Eve party that Shirley (Cindy Williams) is throwing. Laverne (Penny Marshall) wants to go with Norman, the cop she’s been dating, but the “entire Milwaukee police force is on duty New Year’s Eve.” She’s narrowed her remaining options to Jake the Snake, Benny the Newspaper Guy and Herbie Schul.

SHIRLEY: Hmmm. A motorcycle hoodlum, a man with filthy hands and a guy who turns his eyelids inside out.

LAVERNE: Yeah, they’re really nice guys.

The girls learn Laverne’s childhood crush Pete has broken up with his latest squeeze, Beatrice. Shirley tells Laverne if she can lure Pete to their apartment, Shirley guarantees she can persuade him to ask Laverne to the party.

 

Scene change!

 

Pete (guest star Craig Littler) brings Laverne home. She puts on some make-out music, but the record she chooses – “Chances Are” – turns out to be Pete and Beatrice’s favorite. “Stupid song!” Laverne says as she rips the record off the phonograph player. Laverne and Pete get chummy when Shirley arrives and begins dropping hints that Laverne needs a date for New Year’s Eve. Before Pete departs, he asks Laverne if he can escort her to Shirley’s party. The plan worked!

 

Party time! Shirley’s boyfriend Carmine (Eddie Mekka) tries to teach Laverne’s dad Mr. DeFazio (Phil Foster) how to dance the twist: “Just pretend you’re drying your backside with a towel while putting cigarettes out with your feet.”

 

 Time lapse!

 

SHIRLEY: I’m telling you Laverne, this is the best New Year’s Eve party I’ve ever thrown!

LAVERNE: Yeah, being here with Pete is like a dream come true.

SHIRLEY: Well, would you look who’s dreaming?

LAVERNE: What? I dream. I just don’t like to talk about them. It don’t hurt so bad if they don’t work out.

SHIRLEY: Well, I’m glad this one’s working out. It’s nice to see you so happy.

Oh, this is going to end well.

 

Carmine gives Shirley a diary as a present. She opens it and finds the first page already filled in:

SHIRLEY [reading]: January 1, 1960. Dear Diary: Spent New Year’s Eve with Carmine as usual. This year’s midnight kiss was his best ever. After everybody left, Carmine stayed and told me that the nicest thing about the ’50s was me.

CARMINE: And you’re going to be the nicest thing about the ’60s, too.

That Big Ragu is so sweet!

 

Pete wants to kiss but there’s no mistletoe, so Laverne hangs some oregano. Then Pete’s ex Beatrice enters and plays “Chances Are” on the jukebox. Pete and Bea fall into each other’s arms and begin dancing; Laverne is crushed. Altogether now, studio audience: Awww!

 

Laverne returns to the apartment, where she mixes a bucket of her favorite drink: milk and Pepsi. Shirley arrives and tells her it’s not her fault Pete left her standing under the oregano.

“Yes it is. I just ain’t pretty enough for him,” Laverne says as a slow version of the “Laverne & Shirley” theme begins swelling in the background.

Shirley, take it away:

SHIRLEY: Don’t ever say that. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.

LAVERNE: It’s true.

SHIRLEY: It’s not true. You’re very pretty. Very pretty. What’s more important, you’re pretty on the inside.

LAVERNE: Big deal, pretty inside. If they ever cut me open, maybe I’ll be Miss America. Pretty inside is what they say to people who ain’t pretty, Shirl.

SHIRLEY: Laverne, you’re pretty on the outside too, and you know it.

Shirley begins singing – Should auld acquaintance be forgot/And never brought to mind – and it’s so awful Laverne smiles.

 

The girls move to the front stoop, where everyone has gathered to witness the mysterious stunt goofball neighbors Lenny and Squiggy (Michael McKean, David L. Lander) have planned for midnight. A squad car arrives – it’s Norman, the cop Laverne had hoped to spend New Year’s Eve with in the first place!

 

It’s time for the big surprise: Lenny, dressed as Father Time, leads the countdown to midnight as Squiggy, dressed as Baby New Year, lowers himself down a rope from near the top of the building.

 

Ten, nine, eight …

 

… seven, six, five …

 

… four, three, two, one!

 

Happy New Year!

 

See for yourself: “New Year’s Eve 1960” is part of the “Laverne & Shirley: The Complete Third Season” DVD set.  

 

On TV

Here’s the prime-time lineup for Tuesday, December 27, 1977:

8: “Happy Days”* (ABC), “CBS Reports: Illegal Aliens in Los Angeles” (CBS), “Pine Canyon is Burning”* (NBC)

8:30: “Laverne & Shirley” (ABC)

9: “Three’s Company”* (ABC), “M*A*S*H”* (CBS)

9:30: “Soap” (ABC), “One Day at a Time” (CBS), “Terraces”* (NBC)

10: “Family”* (ABC), “Lou Grant”* (CBS)

 

The Record

For the week of December 25, 1977:

Top novel: “The Silmarillion” by J.R.R. Tolkein

Top song: “How Deep is Your Love” by Bee Gees

New at the movies: “High Anxiety”

Top TV show: “Laverne & Shirley” (ABC)

In the news: Sadat planned a visit to Sudan

Tuesday, Dec. 30, 1975

“New Years Week” continues with “A Place to Die,” the “Good Times” episode CBS broadcast 34 years ago tonight.

Clothes call: It’s a few days before New Year’s Eve, and J.J. Evans (Jimmie Walker) is on the phone, negotiating with a tuxedo rental shop while his mother Florida (Esther Rolle) listens.

J.J.: Look here, man. Suppose I left out the cumberbund? How about the shoes? I could always paint my sneakers black. The cufflinks? The shirt studs? The shirt?

FLORIDA: You’ll be down to your underwear pretty soon.

Guest who? An elderly man (Arnold Johnson) arrives at the Evans’ apartment. He seems to know Florida, J.J. and Thelma, even though they don’t recognize him. Says J.J.: “If you’re from the Internal Revenue, the reason we didn’t pay any income taxes is because we don’t have any income!”

A last request: Hubert Johnson, the mysterious visitor, turns out to be a friend of Michael (Ralph Carter), the youngest Evans child. Lonely Mr. Johnson believes his death is imminent; he’d like to stay with the Evanses so he can be surrounded by a loving family when the time comes. The kids, feeling sorry for Mr. Johnson, persuade Florida to allow him to stay until New Year’s.

FLORIDA: Well, I know when my time comes, I’d want my family around.

J.J.: Don’t worry, Ma. We’ll be there – wouldn’t miss it for the world. Uh, what I mean is that, uh, well I uh. …

THELMA: We’re getting close to New Year’s, but you’re still the April Fool!

Change of plans: On New Year’s Eve, Florida’s husband James – who’s taken an out of town job – calls to say he’s snowed in and won’t make it home before midnight. Thelma suggests instead of everyone leaving Florida home alone, the Evanses can host a party in their apartment. Neighbor Willona Woods (Ja’net DuBois) offers to get her boyfriend to spring for a case of champagne.

THELMA: A whole case?

 

WILLONA: Oh yeah, honey. ’Cuz when the old year goes out, Willona just might go out with it!

Out with the old: The Evans’ party is in full swing, but Mr. Johnson isn’t having much fun – he figured he’d be dead by now. He wonders how he’ll be eulogized. Willona offers a rousing preview of what a preacher might say on his behalf, then the family dances joyously as Mr. Johnson quietly dies in a living room chair. “Don’t you cry,” Florida tells Michael. “It happened just the way he wanted it: with a family and friends around!”

“A Place to Die” is part of the “Good Times: The Complete Third Season” DVD set.

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also airing Dec. 30, 1975:

9:30 CBS ONE DAY AT A TIME – Comedy

Ann is distraught when she concludes that the girls are rejecting her in favor of her ex-husband’s steady (Carla Borelli), an attractive young model. Ann: Bonnie Franklin. Julie: Mackenzie Phillips. Barbara: Valerie Bertinelli. David: Richard Masur. Dwayne: Pat Harrington.

Sunday, Oct. 17, 1982

Twenty-seven years ago tonight, NBC devoted three hours of prime time to showcasing Erik Estrada.

To be more specific, it devoted three hours to showcasing Estrada’s body.

First, the network aired the latest episode of the series that made Estrada a star – the motorcycle cop drama “CHiPs.”

But this wasn’t just any episode of “CHiPs.”

It was a very special episode.

In the storyline, Estrada’s character, Sgt. Francis Llewellyn “Ponch” Poncherello, moonlights as a male model.

And not just any model – he becomes a designer jeans model.

As NBC’s ad in TV Guide explained, “When Ponch models designer jeans, he finds himself in a tight situation … with criminals, child models and jealous CHP officers!”

This is what happened to cop dramas in the ’70s and ’80s when they became too long on tooth and too short on fresh ideas.

After “CHiPs,” NBC aired “Honeyboy,” a TV movie starring Estrada as Rico “Honeyboy” Ramirez, a Puerto Rican kid from the South Bronx who becomes a middleweight boxing champ.

Estrada produced the film, which was conceived as a vehicle for him to show off his acting abilities.

It also gave him a chance to show off something else, as critics were eager to point out.

Fred Rothenberg, writing for the Associated Press: “The swarthy ‘CHiPs’ star … is given numerous chances to strut in his bikini underwear.”

John J. O’Connor in the New York Times: “Mr. Estrada’s acting abilities are somewhat underwhelming. He is more of a presence, a fact that is carefully underlined by having him appear bare-chested and in underwear briefs whenever possible.”

Tom Shales in the Washington Post: “Apparently we are supposed to find attractiveness his redeeming quality; so many references are made to Estrada’s good looks that you’d think the actor would have been a trifle embarrassed.”

Shales also noted Morgan Fairchild, playing Honeyboy’s publicist/lover, “does far less disrobing in the film than Estrada does.”

As it turned out, viewers weren’t quite as interested in Estrada’s body as NBC probably hoped.

“CHiPs” was the network’s only series to crack Nielsen’s top 20 in the week ending Oct. 17, 1982; the show tied with ABC’s “Laverne & Shirley” for 20th place.

“Honeyboy,” in the meantime, got its clock cleaned by CBS’s Sunday night lineup, which included “The Jeffersons,” “One Day at a Time” and “Trapper John, M.D.”

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also airing Oct. 17, 1982:

8:00 ABC MATT HOUSTON – Crime Drama

A flamboyant couturier (Mr. Blackwell) is murdered at his own fashion show; was it by design of his top model (Cristina Ferrare)? Matt: Lee Horsely. C.J.: Pamela Hensley. Novelli: John Aprea. Bo: Dennis Fimple. (60 min.)

Additional Cast

Vera … Brit Ekland

Garth … Vic Tayback

Valeska … Carol Lawrence

8:30 CBS GLORIA – Comedy

On an emergency call, Gloria and Dr. Adams (Sally Struthers, Burgess Meredith) make a near-fatal mistake that gives them both pause about their careers. Clark: Lou Richards. Maggie: Jo De Winter. Sid: Ian Wolfe.