TV Time Capsule

Happy New Year, ‘Laverne & Shirley’

“New Years Week” continues.

On December 27, 1977, ABC aired “New Year’s Eve 1960,” the “Laverne & Shirley” episode that showed how the girls spent the last night of the 1950s.

 

Ah, the “Laverne & Shirley” credits: Sadly, another example of a sitcom that doesn’t quite live up to its terrific theme song. And we’ll do it our way/Yes our way/Make all our dreaaams come truuue/For me and yooou.

The girls are counting the money they’ve collected for the New Year’s Eve party that Shirley (Cindy Williams) is throwing. Laverne (Penny Marshall) wants to go with Norman, the cop she’s been dating, but the “entire Milwaukee police force is on duty New Year’s Eve.” She’s narrowed her remaining options to Jake the Snake, Benny the Newspaper Guy and Herbie Schul.

SHIRLEY: Hmmm. A motorcycle hoodlum, a man with filthy hands and a guy who turns his eyelids inside out.

LAVERNE: Yeah, they’re really nice guys.

The girls learn Laverne’s childhood crush Pete has broken up with his latest squeeze, Beatrice. Shirley tells Laverne if she can lure Pete to their apartment, Shirley guarantees she can persuade him to ask Laverne to the party.

 

Scene change!

 

Pete (guest star Craig Littler) brings Laverne home. She puts on some make-out music, but the record she chooses – “Chances Are” – turns out to be Pete and Beatrice’s favorite. “Stupid song!” Laverne says as she rips the record off the phonograph player. Laverne and Pete get chummy when Shirley arrives and begins dropping hints that Laverne needs a date for New Year’s Eve. Before Pete departs, he asks Laverne if he can escort her to Shirley’s party. The plan worked!

 

Party time! Shirley’s boyfriend Carmine (Eddie Mekka) tries to teach Laverne’s dad Mr. DeFazio (Phil Foster) how to dance the twist: “Just pretend you’re drying your backside with a towel while putting cigarettes out with your feet.”

 

 Time lapse!

 

SHIRLEY: I’m telling you Laverne, this is the best New Year’s Eve party I’ve ever thrown!

LAVERNE: Yeah, being here with Pete is like a dream come true.

SHIRLEY: Well, would you look who’s dreaming?

LAVERNE: What? I dream. I just don’t like to talk about them. It don’t hurt so bad if they don’t work out.

SHIRLEY: Well, I’m glad this one’s working out. It’s nice to see you so happy.

Oh, this is going to end well.

 

Carmine gives Shirley a diary as a present. She opens it and finds the first page already filled in:

SHIRLEY [reading]: January 1, 1960. Dear Diary: Spent New Year’s Eve with Carmine as usual. This year’s midnight kiss was his best ever. After everybody left, Carmine stayed and told me that the nicest thing about the ’50s was me.

CARMINE: And you’re going to be the nicest thing about the ’60s, too.

That Big Ragu is so sweet!

 

Pete wants to kiss but there’s no mistletoe, so Laverne hangs some oregano. Then Pete’s ex Beatrice enters and plays “Chances Are” on the jukebox. Pete and Bea fall into each other’s arms and begin dancing; Laverne is crushed. Altogether now, studio audience: Awww!

 

Laverne returns to the apartment, where she mixes a bucket of her favorite drink: milk and Pepsi. Shirley arrives and tells her it’s not her fault Pete left her standing under the oregano.

“Yes it is. I just ain’t pretty enough for him,” Laverne says as a slow version of the “Laverne & Shirley” theme begins swelling in the background.

Shirley, take it away:

SHIRLEY: Don’t ever say that. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.

LAVERNE: It’s true.

SHIRLEY: It’s not true. You’re very pretty. Very pretty. What’s more important, you’re pretty on the inside.

LAVERNE: Big deal, pretty inside. If they ever cut me open, maybe I’ll be Miss America. Pretty inside is what they say to people who ain’t pretty, Shirl.

SHIRLEY: Laverne, you’re pretty on the outside too, and you know it.

Shirley begins singing – Should auld acquaintance be forgot/And never brought to mind – and it’s so awful Laverne smiles.

 

The girls move to the front stoop, where everyone has gathered to witness the mysterious stunt goofball neighbors Lenny and Squiggy (Michael McKean, David L. Lander) have planned for midnight. A squad car arrives – it’s Norman, the cop Laverne had hoped to spend New Year’s Eve with in the first place!

 

It’s time for the big surprise: Lenny, dressed as Father Time, leads the countdown to midnight as Squiggy, dressed as Baby New Year, lowers himself down a rope from near the top of the building.

 

Ten, nine, eight …

 

… seven, six, five …

 

… four, three, two, one!

 

Happy New Year!

 

See for yourself: “New Year’s Eve 1960” is part of the “Laverne & Shirley: The Complete Third Season” DVD set.  

 

On TV

Here’s the prime-time lineup for Tuesday, December 27, 1977:

8: “Happy Days”* (ABC), “CBS Reports: Illegal Aliens in Los Angeles” (CBS), “Pine Canyon is Burning”* (NBC)

8:30: “Laverne & Shirley” (ABC)

9: “Three’s Company”* (ABC), “M*A*S*H”* (CBS)

9:30: “Soap” (ABC), “One Day at a Time” (CBS), “Terraces”* (NBC)

10: “Family”* (ABC), “Lou Grant”* (CBS)

 

The Record

For the week of December 25, 1977:

Top novel: “The Silmarillion” by J.R.R. Tolkein

Top song: “How Deep is Your Love” by Bee Gees

New at the movies: “High Anxiety”

Top TV show: “Laverne & Shirley” (ABC)

In the news: Sadat planned a visit to Sudan

Tuesday, February 14, 1978

“Be Mine Week” concludes with “Be My Valentine,” the “Happy Days” episode ABC broadcast 32 years ago tonight.

Sing! Valentine’s Day finds Joanie Cunningham (Erin Moran) daydreaming – in music! – about the couples in her life. The loveliest sequence stars her parents, Howard and Marion (Tom Bosley, Marion Ross):

HOWARD: We met at nine.

MARION: We met at eight.

HOWARD: I was on time.

MARION: No, you were late.

HOWARD: Oh yes, I remember it well. We dined with friends.

MARION: We dined alone.

HOWARD: A tenor sang.

 

MARION: A baritone!

HOWARD: Oh yes, I remember it well. That dazzling April moon.

MARION: There was none that night. And the month was June.

HOWARD: That’s right. That’s right!

MARION: It warms my heart, to know that you, remember still, the way you do.

HOWARD: Oh yes, I remember it well. That carriage ride.

MARION: You walked me home.

HOWARD: You lost a glove.

MARION: I lost a comb.

HOWARD: Ah yes, I remember it well. That brilliant sky.

MARION: We had some rain.

HOWARD: Those Russian songs.

MARION: From sunny Spain?

HOWARD: Ah yes, I remember it well. You wore a gown of gold.

MARION: I was all in blue!

HOWARD: Am I getting old?

MARION: Oh no! Not you. How strong you were, how young and gay. A prince of love, in every way.

HOWARD: Ah yes.

TOGETHER: I remember it well.

 

Elsewhere on Television

TV Guide listings for February 14, 1978:

8:30 ABC LAVERNE & SHIRLEY

The girls bus to a distant city for a rendezvous with two medical students, who meet – and strand – them in a deserted depot. Laverne: Penny Marshall. Shirley: Cindy Williams. Greg: Christopher Guest. Larry: Thomas Leopold. Bum: Peter Elbling. Station Master: Carl Gottlieb.

9:00 ABC THREE’S COMPANY

Janet and Chrissy are visited by a girl who says she’s looking for Jack because he has gotten her in trouble. Jack: John Ritter. Janet: Joyce DeWitt. Chrissy: Suzanne Somers. Larry: Richard Kline. Linda: Anne Schedeen. Sandra: Susan Blu.

9:30 ABC SOAP – Comedy

To save his skin, Danny (Ted Wass) must marry Lefkowitz’ daughter. Meanwhile, Mary (Cathryn Damon) decides to have Burt committed. Burt: Richard Mulligan. Elaine: Dinah Manoff. Lefkowitz: Sorrell Brooke. Franklin: Howard Hessman. Judge: Charles Lane. Eunice: Jennifer Salt. McCallam: Edward Winter. Chuck: Jay Johnson. Jodie: Billy Crystal.

10:00 ABC FAMILY

Willie (Gary Frank) has serious doubts about his future. He’s almost 21, a high-school dropout, and his first screenplay was rejected. Doug: James Broderick. Kate: Sada Thompson. Nancy: Meredith Baxter Birney. Buddy: Kristy McNichol. (60 min.)

Guest Cast

Bambi ……………. Shera Danese

Skipper Thor ……… Richard Masur

 

… And in the News

New York Times excerpts from February 14, 1978:

Experts Say This Winter Approaches 1977’s in Severity

WASHINGTON, Feb. 13 – Federal meteorologists today forecast sharply colder weather for the he eastern, central and southern parts of the country, and indicated … this winter, which so far has been warmer than last year’s, could end up about as cold.

Friday, January 15, 1988

Twenty-two years ago tonight, ABC introduced “The Thorns,” a sitcom that marked the ill-fated return to series television of Mike Nichols, the celebrated director of stage and screen.

The dark comedy focused on Sloan and Ginger Thorn (Tony Roberts, Kelly Bishop), a wealthy, shallow couple whose Manhattan household included their three children, a live-in mother-in-law, a surly French maid, an au pair with whom Sloan was having an affair and an interior decorator who was Ginger’s lover.

The Washington Post’s Tom Shales described Sloan and Ginger as “facile, self-centered, materialist status seekers. They would go see ‘Wall Street’ and root for Gordon Gekko.”

Apparently, Shales was one of the few critics who liked “The Thorns.”

His review praised the pilot for its “distinctive, engaging nastiness” and scenes like one in which the Thorn children tell Sloan they wish he’d behave more like Bill Cosby. “Bill Cosby is a fictional character,” Sloan retorts.

Shales’s review continued:

One must respect, if not love, a TV comedy series whose premiere episode is called “Death and Transfiguration” and which opens and closes with a tart Kander-Ebb theme song, “We’re All Right,” that includes the exhortation, “We’ve upped our income, so why don’t you up yours?”

Shales suggested that while Nichols was credited as one of the show’s executive producers, his name was probably “stamped onto it the way Ralph Lauren’s name is stamped on sheets and pillowcases. One suspects he functions more as imprimatur than guiding force.”

The New York Times’ John J. O’Connor was less forgiving, noting that Nichols hadn’t “dabbled” in television since co-creating and producing “Family,” ABC’s acclaimed 1976-81 drama.

“Judging from the first episode of ‘The Thorns,’ he could stay away for another decade and not be sorely missed,” O’Connor wrote.

(As it turned out, Nichols didn’t return to television until 2001, when he produced a TV movie adaptation of the play “Wit.”)

“The Thorns” debuted in 55th place in the weekly ratings opposite tough competition: CBS’s “Dallas” and NBC’s “Miami Vice.”

Ratings never improved, and the show was cancelled in March – just two months after its debut.

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also airing January 15, 1988:

9 PM NBC MIAMI VICE (CC); 60 min.

Crockett (Don Johnson) becomes bait for a murderer who mutilates victims picked from a video dating service. Caitlin: Sheena Easton. Tubbs: Philip Michael Thomas.

Guest Cast

Sam Russell … Chris McCann

Lois … Iman

Carol … Lori Petty

Ross … Seth Steiger

[Another episode follows.]

10 PM NBC MIAMI VICE (CC) – Crime Drama; 60 min.

After the squad traps a TV-evangelist’s wife in a drug sting, Tubbs (Philip Michael Thomas) is set up for rape, pulling the vice cops into a rivalry between TV ministries. Crockett: Don Johnson. Castillo: Edward James Olmos. Sweitek: Michael Talbott. (Repeat)

Guest Cast

Rev. Billy Bob Proverb … Brian Dennehy

Leona Proverb … Anita Morris

Mason Mather … James Tolkan

Faye Neil Portis … Jo Anderson

Lou Becker … Joel Goodman

Tuesday, January 4, 1977

Introducing “Watch With Chris,” a periodic feature in which I record commentary on TV episodes so you can read along when watching them. First up: “An Eye to the Future,” the “Family” episode ABC broadcast 33 years ago tonight. It’s part of the show’s “Complete First and Second Seasons” DVD set.

0:00:00 Ah, the classic “Family” credits. Kate (Sada Thompson) sends Doug (James Broderick) off to work in his ugly brown car, then heads inside the house, passing by the framed portraits of each family member atop the living room piano. Oh my God, great idea! I’m going to rearrange all my pictures this way. You should do this in your house, too. No, seriously. Pause the DVD and do it now. It’s fun.

0:02:25 Ooh, Kate’s serving breakfast on the patio. Here comes Willie (Gary Frank). His jeans aren’t as tight as usual. Insert sad face here.

0:04:05 Here’s Kate’s friend Elaine (Priscilla Morrill), a.k.a. Edie Grant. Maybe she can eat some of the scrambled eggs everyone else ignored.

0:04:46 Ha! She is. I’m glad they’re not going to waste.

0:07:01 This actor supplying the voice of Buddy’s CB radio friend: He’s crummy! The guy reads his lines like, well, he’s reading lines.

0:09:00 Jesus, people. Don’t look so stricken. She said she wants a job. She’s not dying.

0:10:22 Hey, look. It’s the photos Buddy (Kristy McNichol) took of herself in the episode where the dying grandmother visits. Nice continuity, “Family” producers!

0:10:33 Well, I think we know where this is headed. Buddy’s going to send the photo of Miss Thang (Meredith Baxter-Birney) to her radio friend, passing it off as a picture of herself. Hahaha. CB radios really are like the Internet!

0:12:07 “You don’t have any skills.” Slap him, Kate.

0:14:28 Boy, this Sandy’s a dandy.

0:18:20 “You’re not kidding, are you?” Why is Doug being such a jerk?

0:20:15 Dandies-in-training.

0:20:58 Wow, that’s some sign.

0:21:51 So James Woods is playing Stiles? I guess this means the character’s going to be an asshole.

0:22:36 Wait, is this James Woods or Nathan Thurm?

0:23:03 Holy crap! Carrot Top is a prodigy!

0:29:27 W.T.F.? Are all of Willie’s tight jeans in the laundry this week?

0:33:28 Maybe Doug’s always been a jerk and I just didn’t notice?

0:40:22 OK, Buddy’s voice is clearly that of a child and the Toad is obviously an adult. So this is how pedophiles preyed on kids before the Internet?

0:41:27 O.M.G., Toad, s.t.f.u. Someone needs to call a cop about this creep.

0:43:53 OK, I guess Doug has redeemed himself.

0:46:38 Aw, Doug waited for her. He really has redeemed himself. Yaaay for Kate and Doug!

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also airing January 4, 1977:

8:00 CBS WHO’S WHO

Debut: Dan Rather, Charles Kuralt and Barbara Howar are the reporters for this magazine-format series, which focuses on newsmakers in the arts, business, politics and sports. (60 min.)

Tuesday, Dec. 21, 1976

TV Time Capsule begins “Christmas of ’76 Week,” a celebration of the seven days between Dec. 21 through Dec. 27, 1976, when original holiday episodes aired each night. First up: “The Christmas Story,” the   “Family” episode ABC broadcast 33 years ago tonight.

And they remember all the lyrics! “The Christmas Story” opens with a scene that illustrates perfectly what made “Family” such escapist entertainment for me in the ’70s. Suburban lawyer Doug Lawrence (James Broderick) and 19-year-old son Willie (Gary Frank) are driving to their Pasadena, California, home with a Christmas tree strapped to the roof of the family station wagon, happily singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” If this scene were playing out in my family, my dad would be singing a dirty limerick about “Sally Rottencrotch” while I cringed with embarrassment.

My kind of people! Father and son carry the tree into the living room and Doug announces plans to light the fire. Wife Kate (Sada Thompson) reminds him it’s 90 degrees outside. “Well the fire is going to be inside,” Doug says. “Oh of course. Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll go ice the hot toddies,” Kate replies.

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Doug’s dad James (guest star John Beal) comes to help trim the tree and brings a surprise: his new, much younger fiancée Constance Hume (Sheree North, the future Babs Kramer). “She’s not much older than we are,” a worried Doug tells Kate. “I don’t know quite how to take that,” Kate retorts.

Here comes trouble: While doing some holiday shopping, Willie stumbles across an old album and realizes Constance used to be known as “The Sultry Miss Sullivan,” a ’60s jazz singer with a sordid past. Meanwhile, oldest Lawrence daughter Nancy (Meredith Baxter Birney) is fuming because ex-husband Jeff Maitland (John Rubenstein) plans to whisk their toddler Timmy off on a holiday cruise. “If only it would snow. At least everything would look right,” Kate sighs.

You say you want a resolution? Doug urges James to drop Constance, infuriating the older man. On Christmas Eve, Constance visits the Lawrences and politely reminds Doug her past is none of his business. Realizing she’s right, Doug finds his father at midnight mass and apologizes. Jeff realizes he was wrong to take Timmy away at Christmastime and brings the boy home to the Lawrences. Youngest daughter Buddy (Kristy McNichol) surprises Kate with a miniature snowman. “It’s the closest I could get to the real thing. I hope it helps,” Buddy tells her mom. “It’s perfect!” Kate exclaims.

“The Christmas Story” is part of the “Family: The Complete First and Second Seasons” DVD set.

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also airing Dec. 21, 1976:

8:30 ABC LAVERNE & SHIRLEY

Carmine (Eddie Mekka) talks Laverne and Shirley into contributing whatever talents they can to a hospital Christmas show. Laverne: Penny Marshall. Shirley: Cindy Williams. Lenny: Michael McKean. Squiggy: David Lander. Frank: Phil Foster. Mrs. Babish: Betty Garrett. Pulper: Roger Garrett.

Pryor’s convictions

If it’s true television is a mirror – reflecting the values of the people who produce and watch it – then reruns can never be dismissed as simply “old TV.”

Reruns, at least when viewed in this context, serve as a cultural metric – a measure of how our attitudes shift over time.

Who doesn’t cringe when Ralph threatens to send Alice to the moon? Or when June defers to Ward on the most inconsequential of household decisions? Or when Jack Tripper’s wrist goes limp the moment Mr. Roper enters the room?

Scenes like these make us squirm today, but they’re also oddly comforting, offering a kind of affirmation of our social progress.

So when revisiting “The Richard Pryor Show” – the short-lived 1977 comedy-variety series that boldly satirized racial relations – one would hope to find its humor similarly dated.

Sadly, the show is as timely as ever.

Consider the series premiere, which NBC aired 32 years ago tonight.

In that episode’s most memorable sketch, Pryor – the pioneering African American comic – portrays the first black president at a White House press conference.

Initially, Pryor’s president is serious, giving straightforward answers to questions about Mideast peace and nuclear proliferation.

But as things progress, the president’s speech grows “blacker” and the reporters – who are almost all white – become hostile.

One woman, identifying herself as a writer for Christian Women’s News, asks the president about his personal life.

“Since you’ve become president, you’ve been seen and photographed on the arms of white women,” she says to a chorus of “oohs” from the press corps. “Quite frankly, sir, you’ve been courting an awful lot of white women. Will this continue?”

“As long as I can keep it up,” the president responds, with Pryor flashing a smirk that eerily recalls George W. Bush’s. “I mean, why you think they call it the White House?”

Next, a reporter with a thick southern accent asks about the president’s mother, described as a retired maid.

“After your tenure, will your mother go back to being a maid, will your mama do my house?” the reporter asks, causing Pryor to leap from behind his podium, attacking the man as chaos erupts.

Three decades later, wouldn’t it be nice to find that sketch outlandish?

Yet there stood America’s real-life first black president four days ago, on the floor of the United States House of Representatives, being heckled by a lawmaker from South Carolina.

Who knows what caused Rep. Joe Wilson’s outburst – but is it that much of a stretch to see racial undertones in his loss of decorum?

And what about the irrational fury unleashed at all those town hall meetings last month?

Granted, Obama was not present at those gatherings, but the parallels between the town halls and Pryor’s presidential press conference are unmistakable.

Indeed, how can any rational person watch this 32-year-old sketch – broad though it may be – and not find it prescient?

NBC produced just four episodes of “The Richard Pryor Show,” ending the show after low ratings and Pryor’s feud with network censors.

Watching it today on DVD, the “Pryor Show” plays like a precursor to “In Living Color” and “Chappelle’s Show,” with virtually every sketch addressing the disparities between blacks and whites – be they economic, historical, political, social or all of the above.

The second “Pryor Show” episode parodies the “To Kill a Mockingbird” rape trial, casting Pryor as the wily white prosecutor and cast member Robin Williams as the defendant’s Jewish attorney.

At the skit’s conclusion, the foreman announces the jury has found the defendant not guilty.

“However, your honor, we find this carpet-bagging, Communist, Pinko, Jew-boy lawyer guilty of getting him off!”

In the final episode, Pryor is seen in a lifeboat, rescuing white survivors of the Titanic as they hurl racial epithets at him.

Finally, a survivor played by Williams tells the others he finds their racism “appalling” – then it’s discovered the boat is overcrowded. “Oh, I see. Well, throw the nigger overboard then,” Williams declares.

Not all the humor is this raw.

The first episode ends with an elaborate sketch that lovingly recalls Harlem nightlife in the 1940s; another show features a rare performance by the Pips, sans Gladys Knight.

Yet even these moments prove a bit unnerving today.

After all, when was the last time a major broadcast network set aside even a few moments in prime time to showcase African American culture – or any culture, for that matter?

 

From the Pages of TV Guide

Also scheduled to air Tuesday, Sept. 13, 1977:

8:00 CBS BOXING

Special: Two World Boxing Council championship fights and two bouts featuring 1976 Olympic champions are on tonight’s card at Los Angeles. Carlos Palomino (22-1-2) defends his welterweight title against Everaldo Costa Azevedo (55-7-19). Palomino has worn the 147-lb. crown since June 1976. Danny “Little Red” Lopez (31-3) puts his featherweight crown on the line against Jose Torres (28-5-1), who is ranked 10th by the WBC. Other bouts: Montreal gold-medalist Howard Davis (4-0) vs. Arturo Pineda (29-8-1) – lightweights; Montreal gold-medalist Michael Spinks (4-0) vs. Ray Elson (15-1-1) – lightweights. Boxers’ records by Ring Magazine. (Live)

[The Michael Spinks-Ray Elson bout was a last-minute substitute for the previously announced fight between Leon Spinks and Alfio Righetti.]

9:00 NBC MOVIE – Comedy

“Sex and the Married Woman” is a book that wins fame for housewife-turned-author Leslie Fitch (Joanna Pettet), but at the cost of a jealous husband (Barry Newman), who resents her overnight success. A 1977 TV-movie. (2 hrs.)

Supporting Cast

Uncle June … Keenan Wynn

Duke Skaggs … F. Murray Abraham

Louie Grosscup … Dick Gautier

Peter Nebben … Angus Duncan

Virginia Ladysmith … Fannie Flagg

Irma Caddish … Jayne Meadows

Alan “Arnie” Fish … Larry Hovis

Carolyn Fish … Jeanne M. Lange

10:00 ABC FAMILY

Return: The Lawrences begin a third year in Pasadena with Willie befuddled by a new girl friend’s on-again, off-again moodiness. First of two parts. Willie: Gary Frank. Kate: Sada Thompson. Buddy: Kristy McNichol. (60 min.)

Guest Cast

Lizzie … Brooke Adams

Ellen .. Gretchen Corbett